After reading Brandon’s memoir draft is sounding really good. I can tell how emotional he gets about what happened to his brother and how it effected his family. he talks about how his brother was acting before the incident occurred. The main message is basically saying that even the trouble child can’t take the amount of stress that had been built up inside. The line that really sticks out to me in a personal way is “for the first time in my life I could see tears in his eyes and it was the most heart breaking thing that I have ever seen, the man in my life that I had always known to be strong was finally broken and I would of never though this would be the thing to push him to the edge”, because I’ve never seen my dad cry until something bad happened to his best friend, I can really connect to this on a personal level because of the amount of family inside of hospitals.

Some sharp moments and/or details in the authors writing is when he goes into telling why his brother had gotten suspended, and how that had lead up to him bursting out and ending up in a mental hospital. could maybe add more detail about how the family felt when they would go and see him and how you felt when you first saw your brother. So far the memoir sounds good interns of detail, and showing just how much support his brother had during this rough time.

The most successful part of this memoir is the end when he starts going into further detail about his brothers condition. What’s working well is that he can get readers hooked into his writing. The only things that I would maybe change is the fact that he uses to many run on sentences. and that it’s sometimes hard to comprehend the word choice and the  way sentences are created through out the whole piece sometimes. I had a hard time understanding the sentences at some points which would then make me reread a couple of sentences trying to understand what the author was trying to say. I would also suggest reading over the paper again because there are some grammar and spelling issues. Through out the memoir there would be moments where the word choice would make my mind hiccup and make the moment of reading into a sentence again to understand the statement. Over all this is a really interesting memoir it is a really interesting topic to read about and I’m proud to have read the memoir and been about to help out the author with any hiccups they might have along the way.