September 22

Girl School (Memoir Rough Draft)

Feeling the warm sun shinning through my window, my mom gently shake my shoulder to wake me up. “Breanna it’s time to get up, it’s your first day of kindergarten.” Here it was the day I’ve been waiting for for so long, kindergarten. I couldn’t believe it was this day already. I jump off my bed running to my closet to grab my uniform. It was a light blue tee-shirt with a navy blue jumper dress, navy blue tights and navy blue Velcro flats with flowers on the Velcro. My mom does my hair while I watch my favorite TV shows Teletubbies and BoohBah. Once my mom had finished my hair she knelt in front of me to help with my tights and shoes, she looked up at me and said “Breanna are you ready to meet some new friends.” I looked down and said “Yeah, but I’m nervous they won’t like me.” She held my hand and said “They will love you hunny.”

I run into my parents bedroom to kiss my dad goodbye, then run into my room and grab my backpack. I head outside to the car to head off to school. I pose for a picture in front of my moms tan 2002 Nissan Sentra. My mom takes the picture on one of the cameras that has the wheel that scrolls to reset the film. I get into the car and listen to the high school musical CD and sing along to all of the songs. I look out the window to see we are pulling up to my new school and I start to get butterflies in my tummy. “Mommy I’m nervous, what is i don’t make friends?” I asked her as we pull into the school parking lot. She turns to look at me and says “Don’t you worry hunny you will make plenty of friends.” As we walk into the school yard that is bordered around with cones, I squeeze my moms hand tight and she smiles down at me and I smile back.

We walk into the cones and see all of the children excited to see their friends and some who are nervously clinging to their moms, like I am. My teacher Mrs. Brickhill came over to me with this little girl who was noticeably nervous. “Hello Breanna, it’s nice to meet you, I’m Mrs. Brickhill I am going to be your kindergarten teacher. This is Jayliana and she’s also new to this school, maybe you two can become friends.” Who knew that after this introduction, Jayliana and I would become best friends for life. I said bye to my mom with a kiss and a huge hug as Jay and I walked hand in hand behind our teacher finding all of our other class mates. Once we had found them we all lined up and Jay and I stood right next to each other. The bell rang and we walked into the schools building and into the classroom we all had our names taped to the tops of our desk, I find my name and see that Jay is sitting right next to me we both smile at each other. “We are going to be best friends forever!!!!” We both said at the same time.

Once we all got settled in we went around saying our names, age and favorite candy. First it was my turn and I stood up nervously and shakily said, “Hi my names Breanna, I’m 4 years old and I LOVE Sweetish Fish.” I sat back down listening to everyone else’s answers. Next was Jay and she was also nervous she started saying “Hi I’m Jay, I’m 5 years old, and I LOVE Starburst.” She sat back down and we both kept talking to each other, but of course when our teacher wasn’t talking. The bell rang and that meant that it was time for recess, we all headed outside and sat around eating our snacks and sharing with people the snacks we didn’t want for other snacks we wanted. There was this one girl named Sydney who always had the best snacks, she would have the Cosmic Brownies, Yogo Bites, Famous Amos chocolate chip cookies, DunkAroos, Gushers and she also would have the Yoo-hoo drinks. Everyone would trade with her. The bell rang and it was time to go back inside, we all lined up in a separate grades and the recess monitor called us inside one grade at a time.

After recess we went back inside and finished putting away all of our supplies and cleaning products. Our teacher introduced us to the class pet, Jo-Jo the monkey puppet, we all loved Jo-Jo. Once we had finished putting away our things the bell rung again which meant lunch time. We all had our lunch which some people brought their food and some bought lunch. Each grade had their own table from Pre-K to Eighth Grade, Jay and I sat right next to each other like always. After lunch it was time for recess, we all went out side and played on the play ground. Jay and I played hopscotch all the way up to 20, we had so much fun playing around with each other. The bell had rung which meant it was time to head back inside for some more learning. We head inside and start learning the alphabet backwards, which I found so much fun. Jay and I would race each other to see who could say the alphabet backwards the fastest.

Once we finished that, she won of course because I always mess up on L, M, N, O, P, the bell had rung to go home and Jay and I had the greatest idea that we could switch backpacks so that when our moms saw us they would know we wanted to ask them something. We really wanted more time to spend hanging out together and we couldn’t wait until the next day. So once we headed out of the school we walked over to our parents holding hands a giggling like crazy, my mom said “I see that’s not your backpack Breanna and I see that Jay is wearing yours.” Jay’s mom had asked “I wonder what these girls could possibly want from us.” Jay and I kept on giggling and we both said “CAN WE HANG OUT TODAY!!” From that day on Jay and I have been inseparable, and school has always kept us closer together.


Posted September 22, 2018 by barruda30 in category Memoir, Rough Draft, Uncategorized

1 thoughts on “Girl School (Memoir Rough Draft)

  1. bkiely

    Throughout reading Breanna’s memoir draft I could tell how much this first day of kindergarten meant for her.  When she was able to meat someone who would still be her friend till this day and I can relate because I have a friend that actual goes to BCC that I’ve known since kindergarten.  She also said things like “Yeah, I’m nervous they won’t like me”, I remember having to go to new schools all the time and every time that it was my first day I would be nervous if people would like me or not and it would eat me alive.

    While I was reading Breanna’s draft I found very hard to fine anything thing wrong with it. There might of been some place where there should of been some commas or something like that but for a draft it could of past for the final product.  The amount of detail and dialogue throughout the memoir made it hard to keep my eyes off of it I couldn’t help but read it.  But one thing that had me really confused was that in the fourth paragraph you said you had recess and then you said it again in the next paragraph.  So I don’t know if you put stuff out of order or you had two recesses but if you where to indicate if you do have two or fix it if you didn’t it would clear everything up.  Other than that I didn’t find anything wrong with it as a whole everything seemed in clear to me, the amount of detail was over the top, and honestly maybe cut some things out of the memoir and go more in depth with some other stuff.  I feel like your voice in your memoir was probably the best part of your draft, you really made the memoir act like it was being told by two different people the child version of you and your current self almost like you where narrating a children book.  Over all you should be proud of what you wrote it was amazing and I’m glad that I was able to read something like this.

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